What to Do If You Believe Your Friend Is in an Abusive Relationship

Express your concern and voice your worries but don't judge.  Speak to him or her when the two of you are alone and have enough time to talk things through.

Refer to specific incidents you witnessed that made you worried.  Try not to simply say, "I'm really upset about your relationship with Marilyn," but pin point what exactly makes you worried. You might say, "You must have been really uncomfortable when Marilyn started yelling at you in front of all our friends last week."

Be there as a confidant.  Don't judge a friend if she or he seems to stay beyond a reasonable length of time in an abusive relationship. You should continue to be there for your friend to listen and to offer advice. The last thing that an abused teen needs is to be alienated by his/her friends.

Offer to get information for him or her, or to go with her to see a teacher, counselor, or advocate.  Understand that even if he or she isn't ready to go now, your friend will appreciate knowing that the offer stands

What To Do If You Believe Your Friend Is an Abuser

Tell him or her why you are worried  about his or her relationship, referring to specific incidents that you witnessed. Try not to shame or humiliate him or her.

Take a stand  and let him or her know that you will not stand by while he or she continues to act this way.

Remind  him or her that there may be consequences for these actions.

Urge  him or her to get help, and offer to help get information for him or her. Tell your friend that he or she may want to consider talking with a counselor, rabbi, or other adult who he or she trusts.